why do cheetos always look like penises
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
