They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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