he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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