She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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