life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
