just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
