I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
