If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
