I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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