if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
