Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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