She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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