She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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