Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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