yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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