So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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