Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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