You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
