im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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