and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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