Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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