she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
