What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
