Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
