So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
