Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
