she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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