Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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