Little spoons don't ask big questions
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
