do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
