someone threw a dead crab at me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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