The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can tuck mytits in my pants
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
