can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
