Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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