Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
