I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
