Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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