I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
