i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You were trust falling into bushes
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
