dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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