She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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