You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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