why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
