dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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