He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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