CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
