He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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