Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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