fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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