so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
