There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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