your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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