hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
