Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
