What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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