We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
