I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My penis needs a shock collar
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
