sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
