don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
