Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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