You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
