I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
