is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
